Monster jokes Jokes Funny Monster jokes Jokes

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Why did the monster go into hospitalTo from Flashcomment Monster jokes Jokes
Why did the monster go into hospital? To have his ghoul-stones removed.

What did the monster say to his from Flashcomment Monster jokes Jokes
What did the monster say to his psychiatrist? 'I feel abominable.'

MRS MONSTER TO MR MONSTER Try to from Flashcomment Monster jokes Jokes
MRS MONSTER TO MR MONSTER: Try to be nice to my mother when she visits us this weekend, dear. Fall down when she hits you.

What do you get if you cross from Flashcomment Monster jokes Jokes
What do you get if you cross a monster with a flea? Lots of very worried dogs.

FIRST MONSTER Im going to a party from Flashcomment Monster jokes Jokes
FIRST MONSTER: I'm going to a party tonight. SECOND MONSTER: Oh, are you? FIRST MONSTER: Yes, I must go to the graveyard and dig out a few old friends.

Why is the monsters football pitch wetBecause from Flashcomment Monster jokes Jokes
Why is the monsters' football pitch wet? Because the players keep dribbling on it.

FRED Your monster was making a terrible from Flashcomment Monster jokes Jokes
FRED: Your monster was making a terrible noise last night. BERT: Yes - ever since he ate Madonna, he thinks he can sing.

FRED MONSTER My sister must be twenty from Flashcomment Monster jokes Jokes
FRED MONSTER: My sister must be twenty. I counted the rings under her eyes. BERT MONSTER: That's nothing. My sister's tongue is so long, she can lick an envelope after she's posted it.

What do you get if you cross from Flashcomment Monster jokes Jokes
What do you get if you cross a bird with a monstrous snarl? A budgerigrrrrr!

FIRST HUMAN BOY I can lift a from Flashcomment Monster jokes Jokes
FIRST HUMAN BOY: I can lift a monster with one hand. SECOND HUMAN BOY: Bet you can't! FIRST HUMAN BOY: Find me a monster with one hand and I'll prove it.

How can you tell if a monster from Flashcomment Monster jokes Jokes
How can you tell if a monster has a glass eye? When it comes out in conversation.

What is a monsters favourite societyThe Consumers from Flashcomment Monster jokes Jokes
What is a monster's favourite society? The Consumers' Association.

Whats big and hairy and goes beep from Flashcomment Monster jokes Jokes
What's big and hairy and goes 'beep beep'? A monster in a traffic jam.

An enormous monster with eight arms and from Flashcomment Monster jokes Jokes
An enormous monster with eight arms and eleven legs walked into a tailors shop. 'Quick!' shouted the tailor to his assistant. 'Hide the "Free Alterations" sign!'

What do sea monsters have for dinnerFish from Flashcomment Monster jokes Jokes
What do sea monsters have for dinner? Fish and ships.

If storks bring human babies what bring from Flashcomment Monster jokes Jokes
If storks bring human babies, what bring monster babies? Cranes.

A very tall monster with several arms from Flashcomment Monster jokes Jokes
A very tall monster with several arms and legs, all of different lengths, went into a tailor's shop. 'I'd like to see a suit that will fit me,' he told the tailor. 'So would I, sir,' said the tailor. 'So would I.'

Heres a good book said the sales from Flashcomment Monster jokes Jokes
'Here's a good book,' said the sales assistant in the book shop to Mrs Monster. 'How To Help Your Husband Get Ahead.' 'No, thank you,' said Mrs Monster. 'My husband's got two heads already. . .'

Why did the monster dye her hair from Flashcomment Monster jokes Jokes
Why did the monster dye her hair yellow? To see if blondes have more fun.

Whats big and ugly and drinks out from Flashcomment Monster jokes Jokes
What's big and ugly and drinks out of the wrong side of the glass? A monster trying to get rid of hiccups.